Monday, August 1, 2011

Bean Jumpers

I don't know whether it's becuase I'm getting stressed out and worried becuase of school coming up so (more like the choices about college and stuff really), but I've been a little troubled artistically and spiritually lately.



    Not long ago I went for a long run to calm my nerves. My ipod died not a mile in, and with out music I  could neither ignore falling into MY natural rhythm, or the negative thoughts in my head and heart. It was kinda strange, my body was falling into this calm running gate, on a lovely, bright summer day, and it gave open space for the dialog in my head to run in. Whether it was becuase I emotionally or physically tired, I started to lose my pace and decided to cut my run a block short and go down this lovely little road I haven't been on it a while.
   It's a road mainly there for the tractor and farmers to drive on, as it both connects and divides the different sections of field. It's mostly gravel, banked by a woods and corn on the one side, and soy beans and marching power towers on the other. I was immediately stuck by the imposing nature of these spacey, architectural towers, with such rigid and solid geometry using only lines of silver metal. It reminds me of the sci-fi themed sketches I saw of my mom's brother. (There's an interesting story about that I'll have to get to at another time). This road is gray white and edged with thick wild flowers and grass. The butterflies dart everywhere, but I am ever more growing tired and weary of the thoughts in my head as my feet are of hitting the ground. I noticed up ahead large, white cement structures used to tunnel a ditch that runs under this road, and almost subconsciously I veer over to the one side to sit down.
    With the cement block level to the road, I dangle my feet down into the miniature valley. Over run with thick wild flowers and weeds, I look down I can see the clear water running over the bronze mud. I can even see the little schools of fish, and I thought of how amazing it is that these fish ever have to worry about predators for being in such an isolate place. I feel hidden, alone, yet warm and comforted by the sun. I am glad to sit here, but I began to get teary eyed.
    So much worry, I think how in the end all I want is to full fill the best of God's plan for me. I say a prayer, and just as subconsciously as I sat down, I get back up. As I dragged myself way from the rural beauty I asked again for the strength to continue running. I walk some till I see a trio of red deer cross the road far in front of me. They leap and and run with such leisurely grace, I felt compelled to do the same. I watch them as I casually jog forward, I was happy they didn't notice me for a while and I could watch them enjoy themselves. Eventually, I did get their attention and they shot up those brilliant while tails and ran back to where they came, the larger one seemed leap over the road joyfully with it's bright orange body against the green. Truly a God send.

Rough paint sketch....


I did make it home eventually and thought of how I could paint or draw either instance. I didn't have much success, but I think I will especially work on a painting of the deer. I'll call em the Bean Jumpers.




Peace.

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